Adventures In Parodyverse: Touring The Mansion Part 1

Adventures In Parodyverse - Touring The Mansion Part 1

    "Vizh!" CrazySugarFreakBoy! verbally tackled Visionary as he entered the kitchen of the Lair Mansion looking exhausted yet freshly showered and dressed...which wouldn't be unusual for Visionary except that it was past noon. "So who's the blonde? And what did she do to make you sleep so late?"

    "Why don't you ask her?" Visionary sounded annoyed as he opened the fridge and began searching for food.

    "Did you tap her hot blonde ass? Get some of 73H H4WT--"

    "If you start using 'leet speak' then I'm leaving and getting take-out food," Visionary interrupted him with a warning. He eyed the now silent Dream as he began making himself a sandwich for lunch/breakfast.

    "Sandwich. That reminds me--" Dream began.

    "Don't say it!" Visionary threatened him with a mustard covered butter knife.

    Dream quickly pressed his lips tightly closed to demonstrate that he wasn't going to speak another word about it. He even managed to keep silent as the blonde in question finally entered the kitchen to see what was going on. Medium height, slim build, eyes that had a glasslike appearance to them because of their light color that seemed almost like an abscence of color. "Is she a real blonde?" he asked. He looked straight at Visionary to aim the question at him.

    "It's rude to talk about Lara when she's standing right in the room," Visionary told him. He then introduced her. "This is Lara Night. She's a friend."

    "Oh, a 'friend'," Dream echoed mockingly. He then turned his attention to the woman. "I thought I recognized you. Kept Vizh up real late, did you?"

    "Mmmhmm." Lara replied as she began making herself cocoa.

    "Well...what did you do?" the Wired Wonder asked.

    "Played games," Lara told him.

    Dream perked up at that. "Sex games?"

    "Video games, card games." Lara informed him. She laughed when Dream groaned out loud. "I introduced him to some addictive games. We were up kind of late."

    "I wouldn't mind playing some games with you," Dream said. "How about strip poker?"

    "We played that too." Lara smiled slyly and noted, "Visionary lost."

    Dream gave Visionary, who started to look very uncomfortable, a curious look.

    "We um...called the game before I had to remove my pants," Visionary said. "But I got to see her without a shirt."

    "Really?" Dream perked up suddenly.

    "She was wearing a tee-shirt underneath," Visionary pointed out. "But it was a small one and it outlined her shape quite nicely."

    "That's cheating!" CSFB! looked at Lara. "You won't cheat if you play me will you?"

    "It's not cheating," Lara told him. "It's planning ahead. You can wear as many layers as you want, too."

    "Nooo," Dream said. "I'll go in naked so I can't lose."

    Lara laughed so hard that she spit some of her cocoa across the kitchen counter. "Now that's an interesting strategy." She looked down at her cup of cocoa and asked Dream, "Want some?"

    "Sure, I like things that are sweet." Dream smiled at Lara and added, "Oh, you meant the cocoa, didn't you?"

    Visionary rolled his eyes. That was the kind of lame line he would have thought to use himself...if he wasn't terrified to actually say it out loud. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked Lara. He looked at CSFB! indicating that he didn't want the Wired Wonder listening in.

    "Of course." Lara led Visionary around the corner into an empty room...some sort of lounge with overstuffed chairs, a fireplace, and a table. She closed the door and looked around. "Look! I have nude pictures," she suddenly said out loud. She heard a 'thump' in the closet, and yanked the door open. "Out please, Flapjack," she ordered him.

    Flapjack sulked and shuffled out of the room quietly.

    "Wow, you're really getting used to this place," Visionary said.

    Lara shrugged. "So what did you want to tell me about?"

    "Liu Xi asked me if I would date someone like her," Visionary replied. "I want to know if you put her up to it cause...nobody like that ever asks me a question like that."

    "Nobody 'like that'?" Lara prompted him. "What do you mean?"

    "She's...young, exciting and beautiful." He hesistated for a moment and looked at Lara warily. "Not that you aren't...I mean you aren't quite as exotic as she is. Err--"

    Lara stopped him before he tried to correct himself again. "I understand what you meant," she told him. "No, I didn't put her up to it. But she did tell me that she thinks you're terrified of sex."

    Visionary nearly choked on...something, even though he wasn't eating or drinking.

    "Well, at first she thought you were terrified of girls...but then she narrowed it down to something more specific." She stopped him again just before he objected. "Before you object," she said, "It's just based on observation, Vish. She noticed you have no problem talking to girls you don't have a snowball's chance in hell with, like Lisa."

    "Hey, I could have Lisa if I--" Visionary stopped in mid sentence when he realized that he didn't even believe that one himself. "Wait...then why can I talk to you so easily? I guess that means--" He sighed sadly and sat down in an overstuffed chair, hanging his head.

    "Now Vish," Lara whispered to him softly as she sat in the overstuffed chair next to him, sinking to the center right up against him. "It's kind of nice this way, isn't it? Admit it."

    "Hmm," he agreed reluctantly. "I guess...I didn't think I was so...undesirable."

    "You only think you are," Lara corrected him. "And that's good, for now...because we can talk like this. And maybe one day, when you least expect it...we could end up sleeping together and it would be spectacular. Maybe."

    "Spectacular?" Visionary perked up at that.

    "Yeah." Lara nodded and smiled. "Because it's at its best when it catches you totally by surprise. And you'd still be able to talk to me cause you would be in the habit already."

    "Hmm." Visionary pondered that for a moment. "So...maybe someday you say?"

    Lara gave him a mischievous smile. "You'll never know if or when, Vish." She stood and offered him a hand to help him up.

    Visionary smiled for the first time since he woke up that morning. "I think I'm really starting to like you," he said jokingly.

    She laughed. "Somebody has to," she joked. "So how about showing me around this beautiful old mansion?"

    "Sure." Visionary placed one hand around Lara's waist. He tried to smoothly open the door and escort her into the hallway, but failed the second part when instead he slammed the door into his forehead. "Ow..." he whined. "I think I need some ice."

    "Ah, you keep forgetting." Lara stood on her toes and gently kissed him on the forehead. "When I kiss you to make it better...it actually works."

    Just as promised, the throbbing pain in Visionary's head diminished almost immediately. "Maybe you should move in with me," he said as he looked at himself in a mirror hanging on the wall next to the door. "I might need you. I get injured quite often."

    Lara gave him a dismissive smiled and led the way into the hallway once again...this time injury-free.

---

    Sir Mumphrey Wilton wasn't at his desk in his office as Visionary was used to seeing him. The Eccentric Englishman was sunk deep into one of the plush chairs in the center of the room in front of a polished oak table and a toasty fire in the fireplace. He was reading a large, ancient tome, gently turning the leaf of a page by the upper corner, and wearing reading glasses.

    "Good morning," Sir Mumphrey greeted his guests without even looking up. He then closed the book and removed the glasses when he realized that one of the two guests wasn't quite as familar to him.

    "Oh, I'm sorry," Visionary spoke up suddenly. "You remember Lara Night, don't you?"

    "Of course I do," Sir Mumphrey spoke abruptly. "My body may be a little sluggish at my age but my mind is still as sharp as ever."

    "I'm sure your body and mind are both in peak shape," Lara complimented him quickly.

    "Thank you," Sir Mumphrey looked at Visionary. "The lady knows how to pay a compliment, what?"

    "May I see that?" Lara pointed directly at the Chronometer of Infinity lying on Mumph's desk.

    Sir Mumphrey picked it up and dangled it in front of her, but kept a grip on the chain. He didn't yet know her well enough to simply hand it over.

    "Interesting." Lara waved her hand over it and blinked when a very slim bolt of electricity jumped from her hand to the shiny metal surface. "This thing just sucks up energy, like a black hole. I can feel it."

    "That's the Chronometer of Infinity," Mumph told her. "It has the power to manipulate time itself. Almost infinitely."

    "Ohhhh." Lara nodded. "So that's why it needs so much power. If it would have been an ordinary watch it would have needed serious repairs." Lara smiled to make it clear she was joking. "I heard about the Chronometer of Infinity," she whispered. "I didn't know it was so beautiful." She looked at the array of buttons on the sides. "Or so complicated."

    "Took me years to learn to use it," Mumph admitted. "And I'm still not certain I know all its capabilities."

    Lara smiled and shook her head. "I know it has a sort of...'voice'...to explain itself, I guess. But it doesn't...'speak' to me," she said. "I wouldn't know what it's capable of."

    "Indeed. When the moment comes along I know I need something from the Chronometer," Sir Mumphrey told her, "I'll know what to do." He looked at Visionary. "I need to speak to you for a moment," he said.

    "I can wait outside," Lara offered. "Maybe I'll wander a bit and explore."

    "Very good." Sir Mumphrey nodded. Once Lara had left the room and closed the door he looked at Visionary. "Becoming close to her, what?"

    Visionary shrugged. "She's just a friend...but she's very good to me. I just enjoy hanging around with her."

    "Can you trust her?" Sir Mumphrey raised an eyebrow. "She displays unusual curiosity...and she's very perceptive."

    "How can you think she's spying on us?" Visionary responded angrily. "She's not like that."

    "Very well." Sir Mumphrey nodded and stood to straighten out his clothing. "If you trust her I'll stand by your judgement."

---

    Lara headed away from Sir Mumphrey's office in the opposite direction she came in an effort to explore something she hadn't quite seen yet. As she made her way down the hall she passed CrazySugarFreakBoy! in his neon green silly suit. He seemed to ogle her as she walked by...so she stopped and folded her arms.

    "You know, I'd like to know what's inside that suit," she said.

    "Oh, really? Cool!" Dream immediately began trying to remove the suit on the spot to demonstrate.

    "No, no!" Lara grabbed both of his hands to stop him as he tried to pry off his silly suit. "I mean...drop the pretense...the reputation. All that stuff. Just...Dreamcatcher Foxglove. Not CSFB!."

    "What are you, a reporter?" he asked. "Like Lois Lane only cuter and blonde?"

    She couldn't help but chuckle a little at that. "No...I mean, you're funny sometimes. But I feel like you're putting on a show when I'm around you. I...guess I value seeing your honest self more."

    "If I tell you, do I get a taste of that sweet ass?" Dream asked.

    Lara cringed. "Maybe I was wrong," she whispered, sounding rejected. She then turned to continue walking down the hall.

    "Wait," Dream insisted, racing to keep up with her. "I'm sorry...I didn't want you to take it personally. You're seriously hot, Lara...and it's funny, I value honesty too. I tell people exactly what I think."

    Lara sighed deeply and thought for a moment about what to say about that. "Look...I appreciate the flattery, okay? But...maybe when it's just you talking to me, without an audience...I don't want to spar like this. Maybe you can just ask me once, subtly, if I'm interested, and then just talk to me like normal."

    "It's all good." Dream smiled. He turned around when he noticed Jay Boaz, absent any hats that would label him as Hatman, heading toward him. "Hey, Jay! This is Lara--"

    "I met her," Jay interrupted before Dream went into a full monologue. "Briefly, at least." He extended his arm to shake Lara's hand gently. "So how come you actually came back here to the insanity that is the Lair Legion?"

    "Liu Xi asked me to visit Visionary," Lara told him. "She was worried about him."

    "We're all worried about Visionary." Hatman smiled. "So did I interrupt a monologue about comics or sex?" He looked directly at Dream when he asked that.

    "A little of both." Lara smiled warmly. "It bugged me at first, but don't worry...we got that settled."

    "Be careful with her, Dream. She's pretty powerful," Hatman warned jokingly.

    Dream suddenly perked up when he heard that. "I totally forgot! What kind of powers you got, Lara? Besides looking sexy in street clothes?"

     "Well--" she nodded slowly. "There's that," she added with a slight laugh. "And...I guess electricity and energy is kind of my plaything."

     "Can you shoot lightning from your eyes?" Dream asked.

     "Not my eyes," she replied. "My fingers, though, yeah."

     "Cool! Let's see it!" Dream urged.

     "Not inside the mansion," Lara and Jay said in unison. They looked at each other, and then Lara giggled and Jay looked a little embarassed.

     CSFB! nodded slowly. "You two have got to--"

     "Don't say it!" Hatman interrupted. "No more fixing me up with..." He looked at Lara and added, "No offense, of course. But he does try to fix me up with anything female that walks on two legs."

     "No offense taken." Lara seemed a little taken aback when a green hologram suddenly appeared in the hallway.

     "Oh...hi," the hologram introduced herself. "I'm Hallie. You probably heard of me."

    "I...did," Lara admitted. "I just didn't guess that you could materialize anywhere in here. Pleased to meet you."

    "Likewise." She turned her attention to the two men. "You two have to get going. There is a disturbance at the library."

    "Shouldn't the Librarian handle that?" CSFB! asked.

    "The municipal library," Hallie emphasized. "You know, the one in Paradopolis, not the one on the moon."

    "I'll go with you guys," Lara offered. "If you don't mind."

    "Cool!" CSFB! exclaimed. "It'll be just like--"

    "No," Jay interrupted. "It's too dangerous. We're veterans at this, you could get hurt."

    "It's just one giant Mech," Hallie told him. "Even Visionary can handle that. Give her a shot."

TO BE CONTINUED

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Lara Night (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved
-- All other characters property of their respective owners

Post By Anime Jason Sun Jul 03, 2005 at 11:59:51 am EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Touring The Mansion Part 1

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